The Voice of Islam
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 


Rechercher Advanced Search

Latest topics
» Return and Repent.
Cracked Doc EmptyWed Mar 11, 2020 11:48 pm by Abu Fauzi

» Direct Dial.
Cracked Doc EmptyTue Oct 22, 2019 11:18 pm by Abu Fauzi

» Distractions Of Dunya.
Cracked Doc EmptyThu Sep 05, 2019 12:01 am by Abu Fauzi

» Daily Declarations Of The Earth.
Cracked Doc EmptyWed Sep 04, 2019 11:29 pm by Abu Fauzi

» Expect The Best From Allah Ta'ala.
Cracked Doc EmptyWed Aug 14, 2019 10:56 pm by Abu Fauzi

» Sincere Repentance.
Cracked Doc EmptyTue Aug 13, 2019 10:58 pm by Abu Fauzi

» Remembering Death.
Cracked Doc EmptyTue Aug 13, 2019 1:02 am by Abu Fauzi

Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search

Cracked Doc

2 posters

Go down

Cracked Doc Empty Cracked Doc

Post by Taalibah Sat May 30, 2009 4:11 pm

Gotta love this Doc ;eh?

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Being American is apparently what kills you.


I received this in an email....
Taalibah
Taalibah
Admin
Admin

Join date : 2009-04-10
Posts : 296

https://thevoiceofislam.forumotion.net

Back to top Go down

Cracked Doc Empty Re: Cracked Doc

Post by Amatur Rahmaan Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:48 pm

lol
Amatur Rahmaan
Amatur Rahmaan
Active Member
Active Member

Join date : 2009-04-14
Location : South Africa
Posts : 142

Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum